This is an article I saw sometime last month. All in all, not a bad article. I can't speak to the points about children (not yet, anyway) but the other points are well made. Except for the first point:
Your spouse is your best friend
If you think this way, you'll be in for a big disappointment. Over the years, you definitely develop an amazing friendship with the person you are married to. But it doesn't necessarily start off that way. You develop that respect because you have your own life and your own interests and you support each other through illness, bad times, and death. That is what the basis of the friendship is about.A best friend is someone you go to the movies with, that you have a lot in common with. But you need someone who you can go through life with, depending and relying on — and that takes time. And you may not tell your spouse everything, but it doesn't mean you are not close.
I agree that a friendship like the one Pamela and I share develops over time. It becomes deeper and richer as the years pass. She is indeed someone who I "can go through life with, depending and relying on ..." what is that but a best friend?
I have other friends, so does she. I don't know all of her friend's names, although I make a point of learning them. I imagine she would say the same. I will say that I don't consider that I have a life outside of our marriage. In other words, there is nothing boxed off from her; she knows all my passwords, and I know all of hers. So although we don't spend every waking moment attached at the hip (and believe me, we've tried) she's always very present.
I can't imagine the hell my marriage would be if I weren't best friends with my wife. But I can tell you what I'd do if I found myself in that position. Every day I would make it my mission to get to know her better. I would approach it on a gradient, befriending her more and more each day. I'd becmoe familiar with her hobbies and passions, and I'd show her some of mine. Even if I did not share her enthusiasm for all her interests, I would at least become conversant in them. Even if it took a lifetime, I'd become best friends with my wife.
Can you imagine a better use of my time?