13 December 2009

Newsflash:  I'm a bad blogger.

Other than my mom, I'm not entirely sure who ever reads this thing!  Leave some comments, you big bunch of lurkers!


My last post was in August, and many things have happened between that post and this.  (I'm going to mine some of my Facebook notes for this update.)


Friends Like These, a new play by Gregory Crafts had an incredible run at The Sherry.  The play is "about" school violence, but it explores much deeper territory:  Acceptance, personal and otherwise; the need for a haven away from "the real world"; the many complexities of friendship; and finding the strength to stand your ground when confronted by a bully.

Greg's dialogue crackles with life. He has an ear for how people talk, and that makes me giddy. Although the action is focused on a tight microcosm, the impact of the larger high school society are very present. There are times when the cast size seems much larger, thanks in part to prerecorded tracks that never seem pasted-on or artificial. (If you've ever been to a show that utilizes pre-recorded tracks, you'll know what I mean by "pasted on" and "artificial." It's an effect that rarely seems to work, but is quite effective in Craft's play.)

Greg got a "Go" from LA Weekly, which makes me jealous!

Landscaping the Den of Saints, a new one from our associate artistic director Jacob Smith opened in October.  An eccentric rich guy gives a struggling writer an offer he can't refuse, and like all "too good to be true" offers, it quickly turns sour.  The relevance of the production made it almost painful to take in -- I've lived this story, too. Oh, not the exact chain of events. Rather, it is the promise of something wonderful that, in a moment of euphoric abandon, sweeps one away with thoughts of "How am I going to spend all the money?" This mirage of career fulfillment evaporates, and you wonder what you can salvage from the work you did. (Kudos to Smith for salvaging something, BTW.) His characters are real -- often real in their unreality. Hey -- that's Hollywood.

Tales of an Unsettled City: Exodus, Die Grüppe's GBLT: Gays, Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato, and Holiday Hangover: An Anthology for the Seasonally Affected all enjoy brief and remunerative runs.  These three offerings featured work written by our members.  Oh yeah -- we did another 24-hour play festival in October, The Artist's Nightmare.  We have some incredibly talented people in our company, and our original works are top notch.  I'm not just saying that because I'm one of the writers.  We all strive to do our best, to really bring our best to whatever we do.  It's that commitment to quality that's going to pay off in the long run.

I was nominated for a couple of ADA awards.  That's the "Artistic Director Achievement" awards, awarded by the Valley Theatre League.  Here are all of the Theatre Unleashed nominations:

Pin-Up Girls

Andrew Moore – Tracing Sonny

Friends Like These – The Sherry Theatre

Brian Gaston – Pin-Up Girls

Yelena Babinskaya – Tracing Sonny

Starlet Jacobs – Pin-Up Girls

We didn't win anything this year, but to be nominated was quite a thrill!

*     *     *

Making theatre is a learning process.  When Holiday Hangover opened, I shared a few things I learned in a note on Facebook.  Here it is:

"Forgive me for the honesty, but we’re all friends here ..." - Sylvia Anderson

Holiday Hangover: An Anthology for the Seasonally Affected has officially opened, and I thought I'd share a few random thoughts:

- Phil Kelly and I are good collaborators. The title of this show is a perfect example of how we work. I'm a nut for titles. The title of a show (book, restaurant, car model, album, etc.) is a "handle." It's the thing an audience member grabs hold of, and should carry the weight of the show (book, restaurant, etc.) In throwing ideas back and forth with Kelly, we decided on one rule: It had to be "Holiday" something, not "Christmas." Although a show about the day (and aftermath) after Christmas, it's not a "Christmas" show. Not really. (One of my favorite parts of the show is a Hanukkah horror story told by Josh Morrision.) I wanted to work in a play on "Seasonal Affective Disorder," the technical term for depression during the winter months. Two email exchanges later, and we had a perfect handle for our show.

- Casting really is 80% of the work. I don't necessarily mean casting certain "types" iin certain roles. I mean casting pros who do the work. It's easier to push and pull an unexpected performance out of someone who is present and willing to play ball.

- There are some people I have worked with enough, I can direct them like I direct my wife. At one point, I gave Lauren the note, "Fred Astaire." I know I did the same sort of thing with Josh Green and Sylvia. Working in a repertory setting with the same actors, I'm beginning to develop a shorthand with them. That's very exciting!

- I will never cast myself in something I'm directing again. It is only a small role in the last vignette, but it keeps me from watching the show from the house. Frustrating!

- Give an actor a chance to surprise you AND make the environment safe enough for them to do so, and they will.

- More and more I learn firsthand that the secret to GREAT, not just good theatre is HONESTY. It's been said by many people, and for the life of me I can't remember where I heard or read this last (Mamet? Tracy Letts? Maybe Lanford Wilson,) but we tell the truth in theatre by telling lies. Regardless of those little lies (I hate to break the news, but Erin Scott and Phillip Kelly are not really Josh Morrison's parents) the ideas they express must come from an unadulterated place. Only then can we connect with the audience, and that live connection is the selling point of live theatre. Because of the lies we do tell in the theatre, it's easy to forget to be honest where it counts.

- I know a thing or two about stage choreography. "Blocking" they call it. I also like the terms "Theatrical Yoga" and "Actor Feng Shui." (Artaud called it "Metaphysics in Action," but people get a bit nervous when I start comparing theatre to religion.) Kelly's been pestering me to do a workshop wherein I lay bare all my directorial secrets. I may just do that -- I'm felling cocky enough about my skills, I could use the humility of having to explain them.

I'm going for a certain relevancy in my theatrical work. Yeah, I'm a populist. I try to create theatre for the audience, not to satisfy some esoteric need. That kind of theatre ("esoteric need") is crazy street preacher theatre; yelling at the air in front of you while the people you should connect with drift past. So hey -- come out and tell me how I'm doing!

*     *     *

I'll post an update on the other areas of my wild and crazy life later this week.  I'd like to end this blog post about Theatre Unleashed with part of another Facebook note I posted recently:

As the end of the year draws close, we invite you to consider lending financial support to a new theatre company in North Hollywood that is dedicated to producing as much work as humanly possible. When we wrote in our mission statement "... to work together as one, passionately and professionally, in creating truly remarkable theatre," I'm not sure any of us really comprehended what we were committing ourselves to. Yet we have proven that commitment time and again, bringing a staggering array of productions to the public.

Our output belies the financial realities of producing theatre, particularly in a town such as Los Angeles. We are a dues-paying company, and we depend heavily upon our box office returns. It never quite seems like enough to really provide the kind of experiences we strive for. Somehow, against all odds, we manage. Chalk it up to the theatrical ethic of "The Show Must Go On!" and the financial support of our angels, without whom none of this would be possible.

To find out about how you can support Theatre Unleashed, visit our website, or drop me an email (andrew.moore[AT SIGN GOES HERE]theatreunleashed.com).  (That's assuming more than just my Mom and my sisters are reading this.  The support I get from my family has a value that cannot be place in dollar amounts.  The rest of you can pay! ;-)

Happy Holidays!

30 August 2009


I'm sure we'll have an official press release out in the next few days, but I feel like bragging. Theatre Unleashed has a home: The Sherry theatre in North Hollywood!

From our inception, we've been a nomadic group. Our first meetings were in a living room, then a Dennys in Hollywood. Erin and Jenn generously opened the doors of their tutoring operation in Sherman Oaks for company meetings, auditions, and some rehearsals. We began renting rehearsal spaces from churches -- Tracing Sonny and Pin-Up Girls were both rehearsed in the basement of St. Stephen Episcopal, a gorgeous gothic cathedral-like church on Wilshire.

We've bounced around Los Angeles -- from K-town to Venice to Silverlake to Hollywood -- with myriad fundraisers, fringe shows and mainstage productions. We've produced most of our mainstage shows in the Magnolia corridor (at The Whitmore/Lindley, The Avery Schreiber and The Sherry) so North Hollywood feels more like home than any other neighborhood we've been to.

It feels a bit strange to have a "home," but residency was inevitable. Linda celebrates five years at the Avery Schreiber in September. Maybe we can do a combo "Happy Anniversary, Linda/TU House Warming" party. We're a gregarious bunch that needs little excuse for a party, but we really should celebrate!


I am very excited about this project! It's our next late night show, running in rep with Gregory Craft's Friends Like These (more on that, real soon!)

This is just a taste of what we have in store next month. I'll be posting more about this going forward, but I thought it would be best to get the "who, what, where" out of the way first!

Directed by Andrew Moore
Produced by Theatre Unleashed


Theatre Unleashed is digging into the Pulp Graveyard to exhume lost classics from the golden age of comic books. Pre-Comics Code horror, crime and war stories in all their sensational glory! Romance, science-fiction and adventure stories that delight! Theatre Unleashed brings all of this to you in the fashion of Readers Theatre, a curious hybrid of live stage and radio drama. Each week, a new anthology of stories and vintage advertisements is brought back from the dead for your viewing pleasure. Come down to the Pulp Graveyard. You never know what you may find…or what may find you!


Sept. 12-Oct. 17
Saturdays, 10:30 p.m,
*Meet and greet with artists after each show
**Immediately following Saturday performances of
The TU original Friends Like These


The Sherry Theatre
11052 Magnolia Blvd.
North Hollywood, CA 91601


General Admission: $10
*$5 for repeat audiences
*$20 for both Friends Like These
and Pulp Graveyard


For further information, please call: (818) 849-4039
Or check out our website at: www.theatreunleashed.com

11 August 2009

Vote for Manifestations!

One of the shorts featured in Theatre Unleashed's "Something Awesome Animated Short Festival" is in the running for the Reel 13 Shorts Competition. The winner will be aired on PBS in New York!

I fell in love with this short when first screening it, earlier this year. The artist, Giles Timms has created a kaleidoscope of life, love and longing. Welsh composer Ceri Frost's music provides an aural treat as tasty as the visual.

Click here to watch Manifestations and VOTE!

28 July 2009

Red Snapper and Mr. Snapper channel Uma and John at the Monday Night Tease.
Some Random Thoughts on the Past Week

The marathon week that started with Monday Night Tease's 2nd Annual Quentin Tarantino Burlesque Film Festival on the 20th, ran through Comic-Con and Victory Variety Hour's Super Nova A-Go-Go in San Diego on Thursday, and up to Universal CityWalk for some hot marionette action on Saturday culminated in the bloody, sticky, loud and rollicking reprise of the Tarantino fest last night. [Note: As usual, I'm omitting the name of the marionette gig because it's for kids, and this blog certainly isn't!]

Mr. Snapper as Han Solo at Super Nova A-Go-Go, Comic Con weekend in San Diego.

Those pants are about to be torn off.

Some thoughts:
  • Burlesque is a perfect theatrical artform. A burlesque act is a distilled microcosm of everything live theatre has to offer. I could go on and on about this (and probably will at a future date) but performing rough and tumble popular (populist?) theatre is good for the soul.

  • There are enough photos and videos in circulation of me taking my clothes off to effectively bar my entry into politics. That is, unless I run as an LP candidate. In that case, the most I could hope for is local office. ("Councilman Moore" has a nice ring to it.)

  • Comic Con was equal parts intimidating and inspiring. The light post banners characterized the event as "a celebration of the popular arts," or something like that. Carve me off a piece of that!

  • I really enjoy puppetry, but I'm not sure what more I want to do as a professional. There was a time when I pursued an active interest in breaking through to the "next level" career-wise; working towards major TV, film, and commercial shoots. Now I'm afraid that might suck all the fun out of it. I like that it's not my main "job," rather it's something I'm good at that I get paid to do on occasion. I think that's good enough for me.

  • I've had the opportunity to chat with people about that new play I'm working on. It may seem strange -- particularly in Hollywood where every writer seems afraid to so much as breath the title of their work-in-progress, lest some unscrupulous so-and-so steal it -- but I get a lot out of hashing the story out to friends whose opinions I respect. Had a chat with Teo (a fellow burlesque dancer's husband) last night, and his reactions gave me a good sense of what story elements are the strongest.

That's all pretty random, but I'm in a random mood after the last week! Here are some photos from that marionette thing:

Photographer: Alright ... everyone do something wacky!

Me: How about you just take the damn picture?

Backstage. Nothing says "Summer" like long-sleeve, black t-shirts.

That's me on the far right.

Our audience. Huge! This concert was at Universal CityWalk, a noisy outdoor mall on the front doorstep of Universal Studios Theme Park. Out of frame, and to the right is a jumbotron monitor on which our spaceship is seen landing. A hot day, but a great day!

22 July 2009

Hello, Mom!

The only thing that keeps me blogging at all at this point are the text messages I get from my mom: "Hey my son! Time to update the blog so I can have a clue what's going on! Lov u!"

I realize how bad this sounds. As if I never call my mother -- HA! I do call her. As my wife and I have discovered, the blogging format is the perfect way to keep a large body of people up-to-date on the goings-on in one's life. This form of blogging has been criticized as "pet cat blogging," a self-indulgent blathering on of the minutiae of a person's day-to-day activities, as in "this morning, my pet cat did such and such."

Well, we don't have a cat (but Pam's dog has a blog,) and I'd like to know what the hell this medium of blogging is for if not self-indulgent blathering. I suppose I should blog about hot-trending topics, and pack the margins with advertisments and other revenue streams. Maybe you'd like to read yet another nobody's uneducated opinions on the news of the day.


So here's the update, Mom:

A couple of weeks ago, I made my solo debut as a burlesque performer. I got paid to take my clothes off for an audience of (mostly) strangers. Ergo, I am now a professional stripper. Technically, I've been paid to strip as a part of the "Pulp Fiction" number Red Snapper and I perform. But there was something about striding out on stage by myself that seemed to make it more ... something. Je ne sais qua. I don't know what.

I performed as Han Solo to Jerry Reed's classic song of smuggling awesomeness, "East Bound and Down." You may remember that song as the theme from Smokey and the Bandit.

Red is performing as Leeloo in a number inspired by the movie The Fifth Element.

We're reprising our numbers, along with the rest of the cast of Super Nova A-Go-Go, in San Diego for the throng of people attending Comic Con. Comic Con is HUGE! They average upwards of 125,000 attendees. That's THREE TIMES the population of Hot Springs!

Strangely, I'm not nervous.

This past Monday night, Red and I reprised our "Pulp Fiction" number for the Monday Night Tease's 2nd Annual Quentin Tarantino Burlesque Film Festival. I don't have pictures from this last performance yet, but here are a couple from last year:

We also reenacted the famous "ear" scene for a massive Reservoir Dogs group number! due to popular demand, we'll be repeating the show next Monday night. The show was mentioned on the radio as a must-see, and we were featured on the local NBC affiliate's website!

This weekend, I'm performing as a part of that certain marionette show, the name of which I omit so that kids searching for it online don't wind up here! we'll be on the mainstage at Universal Studios CityWalk.

That's pretty much it for now. I'll sign off with a few photos of me and my partner Phil Kelly as Mssrs. Snapper and Buddy. The first few are from a burlesque show, Peepshow Menagerie where we opened with a forty-five minute-long set of music and comedy. The last photo is from Theatre Unleashed's "The World's Smallest Renaissance Faire."

"Old McBuddy Had a Farm." One of our newer numbers, prone to technical difficulties, but hysterical! Audiences love it. Mr. Buddy never speaks, so his part in the song is pre-recorded on cassette tape.

"A Whale of a Tale," from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Each lyric is about a different girl, and Buddy acts each one out. This is the last verse, for "Harpoon Hannah." Buddy dons a tiki mask: "There was Harpoon Hannah, with a face that'd make you shudder/Lips like fishhooks, and a nose just like a rudder/If I kissed her and held her tenderly/There's no sea monster big enough that'd ever frighten me!"

Breaking out the big gun for "Buddy vs. The Dragon." This was a song we performed at the Ren Faire. It was so well received, we put it into our "normal" repertoire. I like it because I get to play the guitar. Buddy likes it because it makes him out to be a dragon-slaying hero.

It's hard to say, but I think we're performing "Whale of a Tale" here. It looks like I'm playing the little solo run on the uke while Buddy retrieves the Harpoon Hannah mask.

06 July 2009

How I Write a Play

I am in the midst of writing a new play, but I'm taking a break for ...

Andrew's Biggest Playwriting Secrets ... Finally Revealed!

1. THE IDEA: People always ask, "Where do you get your ideas?" Sometimes I'll just hit "Random Article" on Wikipedia or type in some random words on Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky." If that doesn't turn up something good, I'll either swipe a premise from a far better playwright ("Tracing Sonny" was in fact a rip-off of Glengarry Glen Ross) or just crib a plotline from old episodes of Felicity!

2. THE DIALOGUE: I really suck at dialogue; it's the hardest part of writing plays for me. But plays are 97% dialogue! In the words of Charlie Brown, "AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!" So what to do? Sometimes I'll just have the actors talk in character until they say something I like, and then I'll tell them, "That! Do that!" Other times, I'll use Babel Fish to translate Spanish language "Novellas" and just change the names. And other other times, I'll dress up like one of my characters, and put myself in the actual situation in the real world, carefully tape recording everything said! On a play like "Pin-Up Girls," I'll use all of these tricks and more!

3. THE SCENE: It's important to describe the scene in painstaking detail, because theatre people have a hard time visualizing how a play should be produced. That's because the theatre is not a visual medium, like the superior art forms of television, film, and YouTube. Also, three to four pages of description make you look like a professional!

4. THE FORMAT: Some people make a big deal about the format of the finished script: Dialogue should run margin to margin, parenthetical descriptions should be indented, blah blah blah. I find it's easier to just use the movie script format. Also, by putting the dialogue in the middle of the page like a screenplay, it takes up more pages! Win-win (win)!

5. THE OPENING NIGHT: As a playwright, it's important to be recognized by the public. That's why I make a point of wearing a sash that says "Playwright" on it, and I always join the actors on stage for their curtain call. Bonus points if you pay someone to throw roses at you when you take the stage! I did that for "Torrid Affaire," and it made all the difference for the reviewers. Nothing says "class and talent" like having roses thrown at your feet! Hey ... it works for Rick Springfield!

6. THE REVIEWS: It's important to listen to everything the reviewers say, and to try and implement their notes by the next performance. One time this reviewer criticized the character of Slappy, the slap-happy ex-boxer turned custodian at the High Jinks Burlesque. Slappy had this gag where he'd stare at the girls while they were changing their clothes and drool into his mop bucket. The girls would see this, puts their hands on their hips and say "Oh, Slappy!" It happened, like, twelve times in the first act alone. After the review came out that called Slappy a "weak, two-dimensional crutch for otherwise humorless moments," I was sure to cut the character and replace him with "Seaweed," a cute creature from Atlantis who aspires to someday strip! Poor Seaweed -- he needs water to breathe!

7. FINAL THOUGHTS: Drink. Drink, drink, drink. Drink some more. You should be so drunk when you write that you're laughing at prepositions. That's how you write comedy.

30 June 2009

My Top Ten Entertainment Experiences of 2008

This is waaaay over due at this point. Believe it or not, this post has existed as a draft since January 5th. What has taken me so long to finish it? "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans," man.

A refresher on the rules:

This encompasses not only the source of the entertainment (i.e. movie, burlesque show, concert, etc.) but also -- and more importantly -- the experience surrounding the event in question.

For instance, I really enjoyed Role Models, the movie starring my twin brother Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott. One of my favorite movies of 2008. However, the experience of going to see the film was average. Compare this to when we caught Revenge of the Sith a couple of years back at the Arclight in Hollywood, and representatives of the 501st legion of Stormtroopers were in attendance with Darth Vader. That was an entertainment experience to write home about!

So I realize this is a bit late, but here goes (in no particular order):

1. Kubrilesque

There were so many good burlesque shows in 2008, it is truly difficult for me to pick just one. But Kubrilesque was an incredible experience for a number of reasons. First, it was pretty early on in our journey into burlesque. We were still meeting people, getting to know the scene. Red performed in a couple of group numbers, as Alex in the tribute to A Clockwork Orange (and she's the hottest Alex ever) and in the Busby Berkeley-inspired 2001: A Space Odyssey extravaganza. So we were right in the thick of it, meeting new people.

Kubrilesque was presented at Cafe Fais Do-do, one of my favorite venues in Los Angeles. (I wrote glowingly of it in my review of Sound and Fury's Sherlock Holmes and the Saline Solution.) Red and I cajoled a large number of our theatre family to attend both nights, so there was that social aspect of the thing, the opportunity to share something we enjoy with people we love.

The Eyes Wide Shut number really hit on the second night, and was a transcendent experience for me. Crystal Swarovski's emergence towards the end was made all the more dramatic by the stark, flat lighting in the main ballroom.

2. Underbelly screening

Princess Farhana is a rock star, and to be invited to this screening was a distinct honor. The documentary is fantastic. We also met up with Celeste, one of Red's buds from the belly dance scene.

Putting on the sports jacket and driving out to a Hollywood landmark (The El Cid was reportedly built by D.W. Griffith) for the L.A. premiere of documentary film ... there was a moment there where I thought, "Wow! We've arrived. This is the sort of thing you do in Hollywood!" What a great night, schmoozing with friends and fellow artists and enjoying the belly dance acts that Farhana presented after the screening. That's what I call a night out on the town!

3. Xmas Smackdown

Kismet. That's how I describe this evening. Red had the opportunity to fill in for Penny Starr, Jr. for one night of this fun show. It was an evening of music and comedy with the very funny Mike Nutter and Cynthia Carle, featuring the Smackdown Singers, and storyteller Cindy Caponera. Red stripped to "Silver Bells" as performed by the Singers.

This all took place at Hallenbeck's General Store in North Hollywood, and I hope I get the invite for the next go 'round. I've since seen Nutter perform his twisted song "Baby Shredder" at Penny Starr, Jr.'s Victory Variety Hour. He's my kind of nut.

4. John Mayer

Yeah, I'm cheating. There were three John Mayer events this past year, and it's impossible to pick just one for this list. They did have one thing in common: The Fans.

First was the screening of Where the Light Is, his latest concert film. In December 2007, John Mayer played a concert for Toys for Tots. Three sets: John Mayer acoustic, the John Mayer Trio, and John Mayer with his full concert band. A remarkable evening that we missed due to a holiday office party. Naturally, when the opportunity presented itself to watch the concert on the big screen, we jumped at the chance.

The screening was at the Bridge multiplex, a cinema down towards Long Beach. Maybe it's in Venice ... I'm a little fuzzy. I know it's to the south and west of where we live. Great place! Some of the theatres have wait staff to fill your popcorn and soda orders. But they serve "real food" as well, and sell adult beverages. Very classy!

This was a fan club event, so we saw the film with John Mayer die hards. Met some really cool people that night!

The second morsel of John Mayer awesomeness came in the form of his Irvine concert. Fan club seats, and we were close to a fan club member who we've run into several times at concerts. She's great! It's so cool to make that kind of friend. The only thing you have in common is this one interest (John Mayer) and that's reason enough to be effusive when you see them again.

I also got to meet Brett Dennen when he autographed his cd for me. I have a newfound respect for people who ask for autographs.

Finally, we got to attend the second annual John Mayer holiday show. It was just Mayer onstage, no band, keeping us entertained for a couple of hours. It was our first journey to the Nokia Center and the new LA Live. Very slick place, completely and utterly disconnected from the rest of the city.

John Mayer, onstage alone, for a few hours. Really, no description would do it justice, but it was a bit like hanging out with that friend (or brother, or cousin) who's insanely talented at something and just watching them play through a set list. Very low-key and casual. The fans were incredible; I found myself chatting with complete strangers before and after the show like they were old friends.

5. Weezer Hootenanny

For a few hours, Pamela and I, along with dozens of other geeky Weezer fans, were members of Weezer. It's true: Rivers told us so.

6. Polly Peabody's show at Tangier

This was a stand-out event for one reason: Jewel of Denial. She's an English language teacher by day, and invited some of her students to the show. They were incredible; supportive and proud of their teacher. Burlesque can be so heartwarming at times!

7. Toy Puppet Theatre day at Disney Concert Hall

I got an email from a puppeteer friend telling me he was performing as part of a Maya Angelou poem-brought-to-life at this festival. That was enough reason to go. When I saw that Chicago's Redmoon Theatre would be performing "Once Upon a Time (or The Secret Language of Birds)" AND Laura Heit would be performing with her matchbox circus, the deal was sealed. Toy theatre is magic. The Disney Concert Hall is a beautiful place, and a wonderful setting for these miniature masterpieces.

8. The Bernini exhibit at the Getty Center

The last time I saw Bernini's work, it was summertime in Italy. The time spent examining these gorgeous marble sculptures was meditative and refreshing.

9. Tarantino Night at the Monday Night Tease

This is sort of cheating, but not quite. Although I was a part of this evening, I was able to enjoy most of it. It was my first introduction to the comedy stylings of Michael "NSFW" Schmidt, aka "The 40 Year-old Boy."

10. Pin-Up Girls

Without a doubt, the most incredible entertainment experience of 2008 for me. It's not that I wrote and directed it. Sure, that was cool. It was watching the show every night (I missed Act I twice) and watching the cast grow into their parts. It was seeing the faces coming and going from the house.

So that's that. Really freaking late, but done.

08 June 2009

Tracing Sonny Photos

Sonny and Luci share a moment.

Dad is making the calls while Sonny tries to carry on a conversation with Luci.

They just won't let up! Mom and Dad make their presence known to Sonny, while Luci struggles to understand what he's going through.

Why the argyle sweater? Since Dad and Mom are really manifestations of parts of Sonny's personality, and they tag in at different times during the play, I needed a shorthand way of tipping off the audience. At the time I was writing this, Pamela bought me a smashing argyle sweater: Above you see Theatre Unleashed treasurer Gregory Crafts and myself, after a reading of "Torrid Affaire" back before TU was so much as a twinkle in our eyes. *sigh*. We were so young and naive back then.

So there's the sweater.

As I worked with this choice, something became clear to me: Los Angeles isn't exactly a sweater-friendly town. Oh, we have our cold nights, our overcast days, but most of the time a sweater is a bad choice. "Tracing Sonny" takes place in Los Angeles over the course of a year. And Sonny has that damn sweater on non-stop.

But this works. One of the themes of "Tracing Sonny" is how useful tics, habits and traits picked up from others can become hindrances in the wrong situation. For instance, a firefighter's full regalia including oxygen tank and mask is incredibly helpful when rescuing people from a burning building. But imagine if that firefighter didn't remove his uniform at the end of the day, and tried to go bowling in it! Sometimes it's helpful to use learned behavior; sometimes that learned behavior overrides personal judgement and self-determination.

So the fact that Sonny wears a sweater on a hot, summer day at the Los Angeles Zoo is a "real-world" nod to his psychological state. Or, in short, "I meant to do that."

I've been rather quiet about Tracing Sonny on this here blog. Well, I've been rather quiet in general on this here blog. Facebook and Twitter have become my more mainline attack on the internet, and I just haven't felt the same need to blog. (And maybe I feel a little guilty that nearly half the year is over and I still haven't finished my "Top 10 Entertainment Experiences of 2008" post. Yikes!)

Opening weekend has come and gone for Tracing Sonny, with three weeks left in the run. I would have been happier with a longer run, but the economics of doing theatre on the small scale is an ass-kicker. We need to wrap up our IRS tax-exempt paperwork posthaste, so we can begin reeling in juicy grants and sponsorships. The silver-lining to taking our time is that we've amassed an incredible body of work over the past year and a half that we can point to when applying for the big bucks. The list is impressive:

Theatre Unleashed - "mainstage" productions since founding:

  1. What We Should Have Said: An Evening of One Acts for Los Angeles
  2. The Tempest
  3. Pin-Up Girls
  4. The Way of the World
  5. Tales of an Unsettled City: Beginnings
  6. Tracing Sonny
  7. Tales of an Unsettled City: Encounters
We've also done sketch comedy shows, variety shows, fundraisers and performance art:

  1. Theatre Unleashed Presents: Theatre Unleashed! Featuring Theatre Unleashed
  2. Dead Beat Poet Society: 80's Night
  3. The Holidays Unleashed!
  4. Die Gruppe in "Last Night's Appetizers"
  5. Attraction/Logic
  6. Die Gruppe in "Kiss My Butt"
  7. Acting Our Age
  8. The World's Smallest Renaissance Faire
Still yet to come this year, five, count 'em FIVE more "mainstage" shows (two of which are originals penned by company members):

  1. All in the Timing
  2. 4.48 Psychosis
  3. Landscaping the Den of Saints
  4. Tales of an Unsettled City: [to be named]
  5. Friends Like These
And that's not all! An animated short fest later this week, and another performance art event. Also, we're likely to do another winter variety show fundraiser. And a Halloween meta-event:

  1. Something Awesome Animated Short Fest
  2. Metamorphose
  3. Untitled Halloween event
  4. Untitled Winter fundraiser
Friends, that's 24 major events completed, ongoing and scheduled in the first two years of our existence as a company. That's one major event a month, if you break it down that way, but we typically do more than one thing at a time. It saves on space rental. Not taken into account is the incredible amount of promotional and marketing work we do for each event, including the production of web videos and an enormous amount of wed marketing spearheaded by our webmaster.

I'm reminded of that episode of the Simpsons, where the yellow-skinned family is trodding through Africa and Bart and Lisa keep repeating, "Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet?" in a sing-song, "Are we there yet?" fashion.

Fairly insane, yes.

01 June 2009

Don't Do Business with AT&T

If you can absolutely avoid it, do so. In particular, their internet service.

Here's my tale of woe:

We're in the middle of rehearsals for "Tracing Sonny," Pam's producing the fundraiser for the Burlesque hall of fame, and I'm building a set, pulling together multimedia elements, etc. Tuesday night Pam's like, "Shit! The phone bill!" Sure enough, we have a disco. notice. Not for the lack of ability to pay, mind you, but for the lack of attention while everything else is going on. Besides, we pay the damn thing.

One hand at AT&T doesn't know what the other hand is doing, and two days later they disconnect our internet. No interruption in our phone service -- like I said, we paid the damn thing. We catch the lack of internet immediately on Friday morning and call up AT&T. The best they can do? "It'll be back on next Thursday before 8pm."

I talk to a customer service gal on Saturday, trying to get them to expedite it. I point out that in this day in age, I could call up Time Warner Cable and have an installer out on Monday or Tuesday. Why should I wait until Thursday?

Her response: "You certainly could. Would you like me to go ahead and cancel your service?" I ask for a supervisor. She tells me they're all out to lunch. If you ask me, I'd say AT&T is out to lunch, and we'll be moving our business elsewhere after the play opens.

I've blogged about AT&T once before. Here's a refresher on one possible source of their malevolence as a corporation:

My guess is, they're run by Sith Lords.

06 May 2009

What I've Been Up To Lately

I'm a lousy blogger, and I blame Facebook.

In truth, and as usual, I'm up to my Adam's apple in stuff to do, and haven't manage to wrangle free a few moments to put down my thoughts du jour here, for everyone to read. Hopefully that little Twitter feed on the left has kept the seven people who read this blog occupied. Most likely you have all been busy with other things (i.e. Facebook) as well. Except for my mom, who has yet to join Facebook (hint, hint, hint.)

So what's the haps?

For starters, my play "Alarmed" has premiered in Topeka, Kansas as part of Lake Edun's "A Night of Naked Surprises." Judging by the headline of this article, I guess I'm a "nudism advocate" now. I'll have to add that to my CV. Here's a quote from the article:

"Alarmed,” by Andrew Moore, of Los Angeles, in which a fire alarm forces Sarah to flee her apartment building when she is in the middle of a shower. She discovers most of her neighbors, and even one of the firefighters, belong to a local naturist facility. The play shows how Sarah deals with this realization and grows in the process.
There are two nights left in the run of the play, so if you're in the area, check it out and tell me what you think! I really wanted to fly to Topeka and see my play, but finances and Theatre Unleashed business has conspired against me. I notice that the Naturist Education Foundation put out a video of the last Naked Play Fest, so hopefully I will get to see the end product in all of its naked glory.

Getting this show before an audience was quite a drama in itself, and one that I would like to have the full skinny on. I know that Lake Edun has had to deal with narrow-minded cranks who just can't stand the idea of naked people camping out and skinny-dipping in the middle of nowhere. Also, finding actors willing to perform in the nude is apparently difficult. My own play has three men and two women, and all but one of the men is nude the entire time. So kudos to Lake Edun, the director of the plays and the cast and crew bringing them to life every night!

I turned in my final draft of "Tracing Sonny" last week. Rehearsals are going well, and Pamela is having a blast directing. This show opens on June 5th and runs four weeks. It's a little strange, not being in the driver's seat on this one.

On June 12th, Theatre Unleashed will present the Something Awesome Animated Short Festival.

This is a non-competitive fest that is currently accepting entries, so if you're an animator or know someone who is, drop me a line!

On the 16th of this month, we'll be unleashing The World's Smallest Renaissance Faire!

I'll be performing with Phil Kelly as "Sirs Snapper & Buddy." What's the difference between Mssrs. Snapper & Buddy and Sirs Snapper & Buddy? In the latter I trade my suit and ukulele in for a kilt and mandolin. It's going to be a blast!

Speaking of Mssrs. Snapper & Buddy, we have a few gigs coming up. We host Bobbie Burlesque's "Broadway Follies" on the 15th, and open Peepshow Menagerie's self-titled show on the 20th.

Back to Theatre Unleashed business for a moment -- I was reelected as president of the company. The vote was unanimous (as it was for all us officers) and I couldn't be happier!

(Around the Moore residence, we have a shorthand we use to cover for abrupt changes in conversation. It comes from the sound an 8-track player used to make when switching tracks. Sometimes, an old 8-track would cause the player to skip tracks in the middle of a song, resulting in a "ka-CHUNK" followed by the middle of a completely different song. Ahhh, to be a child of the 70s.)

So ... ka-CHUNK! Back to burlesque for a moment. A few weeks ago, I got to live out a childhood dream: I became The Unknown Comic for a few precious moments. I still haven't captured video or stills from the performance, but rest assured: I will, and I'll post them here. in the meantime, here's a promotional picture of "The Unknown Snapper" from the Peepshow Menagerie website:

And here's a selection of the horrible, dirty jokes I posted on Facebook leading up to the performance:

  • How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
  • Did you hear the one about the bald guy who cut holes in his pockets? He wanted to run his fingers through his hair!
  • There are two rules for success: 1) Don't tell all that you know.
  • I've never been a member of the Klan, but I am a wizard under the sheets!
  • Why don't birds wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their faces.
  • I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small.
  • What do you give the man who has everything? Penicillin!
  • What did the virgin say when she finally gave it up? "Well, that tears it!"

I stole some of those from the real Unknown Comic, Murray Langston. I'm proud to say I wrote the last one myself!

I think that just about wraps this up. And Mom -- assuming that last joke doesn't cause you to disown me, I'll give you a call this weekend.

14 April 2009

I Build Awesome Props
It's true. And you can learn how to build awesome props as well. In the interest of increasing the overall quality of stage props, I offer the following.

Here's my prop building process.

It's about two things: The silhouette and the details.


This is how we identify things, especially at a distance. It's the general shape of the thing that we look at. In World War II, servicemen were given charts of airplane silhouettes to study. As kids, we all picked out shapes we perceived in random cloud forms. It's an innate ability that dates back to when our eyesight developed as babies. That's the first point: silhouette.


The tiny little things matter. If you don't want an audience to miss the forest for the trees, you damn well better have plenty of trees out there. Or something like that. A minor, seemingly insignificant thing out of place will be noticed, if only subliminally. But the right detail in the right spot goes a long way towards selling something. Marilyn Monroe wouldn't be Marilyn Monroe without the mole. You probably can't tell me what side of her face it's on without a Google image search, but you'd notice if it was missing.So let's take an actual prop, the first prop I built for Red Snapper:

(sorry about the crappy cellphone picture!)

The problem: For her "Monkeywrench" number, Snappy needed a tub of grease she could reach into and get a handful of grease to smear across her breasts. (It's as hot as it sounds!) Real grease would suck to clean up, and wouldn't be opaque enough to hide her nipples. These are the problems we face in life. So we decided to create our own tub of grease, and slip a container of chocolate frosting inside.Here's an actual tub of grease for comparison:

(promotional picture swiped from online somewhere)

The silhouette is right on the money. Not that too many people in L.A. have ever packed ball bearings. In grease, I hasten to add. For the "Monkey Grease" logo I tried to match the color palette of her costume. This is a detail point:

(photo by Dan Hendericks)

There are pictures that better illustrate this point, but I'm a sucker for a girl with a naked back. (Because it usually means a naked front, as well.) It's a bit hard to tell, but there are green swarovski crystals on the shimmy belt and green threads in the frilly trim. And of course, the red and pink. This photo also sets up what is the crowning achievement of my prop:

(another crappy cellphone picture)

Ta-da! I added a monkey detail to the label to match her hat! This monkey is on the other side of the "Monkey Brand Grease" text as well, inverted so as to add a little variety. And because monkeys like to hang upside-down.A couple of other things to note: This tub was purchase at the 99 cent store and was full of sidewalk chalk. I cleaned it out and painted the inside black, so as to look as if it is full of black grease. I used glitter paint on the letters to give them a little burlesque sparkle. That, and I used two of Snappy's green swarovskis on the label.

I hope this has been educational. Next time, I'll discuss the process that resulted in the infamous "Jack Box" and sperm puppets from Red Snapper's "Every Sperm is Sacred" number!

26 March 2009


"How Celebrity Narcissim is Seducing America."

Celebrity narcissism. Like maybe putting your face on the cover of a book?

25 March 2009

Back When I Was a Member of Weezer ...

Last year, Pamela and I were members of Weezer for a couple of hours. I blogged about it on MySpace, but I forgot that there are people (Mom!) who read this blog but are not on MySpace. So here are the Weezer posts:

* * *

Monday, June 23, 2008

Weezer Hootenanny
Current mood: focused
Category: Music

So on a whim I sent an e-mail to try out for this hootenanny tour Weezer is doing. Pam got the bulletin on MySpace announcing the band's intention to do an old folk-style hootenanny tour, recording each show, and choosing the best tracks for a future release. I didn't think much of it. Believe it or not, I have a low opinion of my musical skills (which is probably why I don't promote my MySpace music site.)

I sent the e-mail, promising to bring my mandolin of picked (the rules include bringing instruments you can easily carry, and I figured everyone and his dog would be submitting with guitars) and linking to the aforementioned MySpace music site.Well, I got picked. So tomorrow Pamela and I will be whisked away to an ultra-secret location (she's my plus one.)

The problem is, I'm no where near as confident on the mando as I am on the guitar. And see above statement re: my opinion of my musical skills.

So I've spent most of the weekend boning up on my mando skills (with brief breaks here and there to edit my "Pin-Up Girls" draft, work on a puppet, and see Get Smart). Thankfully, they picked easy songs for the hootenanny ("Pork and Beans", "Islands in the Sun", Radiohead's "Creep", "Say it Ain't So", "El Scorcho", and "Beverly Hills") and I believe I have finally mastered the F-sharp-minor chord for mandolin.

I'm strangely not nervous about tomorrow, in part because Weezer is so cool. The way I look at it, it takes massive cajones to open up the band to a group of (mostly, I assume) amateur musicians. Name one other modern pop band that has done anything even remotely like this. It's nuts. So the boys in the band are either insane, or they're genuinely open and welcoming individuals. Possibly a combination of all three. So I imagine tomorrow will hold a pretty laid-back atmosphere, lots of laughs, and an over all good time.And for one brief, shining moment, I will be an auxillary member of Weezer. Sort of. In a way.

So it's time to pack up the mando, smooch Pammy once again for pushing me to send that e-mail (okay, it wasn't exactly a whim) and get a good night's sleep.

I'll be sure to let you all know how it went!(P.S. If you haven't purchased the Red Album yet, for crying out loud DO SO! It's by far their best album yet, and may be the best pop album of the year. Well, at least until John Mayer's new one drops next month. Seriously, though -- This album kicks all kinds of ass.)
* * *
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Weezer Hootenanny wrap-up
Current mood: exhausted
Category: Music

We arrived at the 20th Century Fox parking structure a little early, and wound up standing around for an hour waiting for the busses to begin ferrying us to the soundstage.

This video was shot shortly before we showed up. There was a lot of impromptu jamming over the course of the day.

In typical Hollywood fashion, there was much "hurry up and wait" between our arrival and finally sitting down Indian style in the soundstage.

This hootenanny was videotaped as part of the Nissan Live Sets series of concerts, brought to you by Yahoo! So the official video will be up, hopefully before too long. We were forbidden from bringing in cameras -- even cell phones -- so there is precious little in the way of images I can share.

But I can try to paint a picture.

Pamela and I were seperated. I was put closer to Rivers (about eight feet in front of him) on the floor, and Pamela was about the same distance from Pat (the drummer.) Brian Bell was on a platform to my right, Scott was to my left. I was hemmed in by Weezers!

The boys in the band are just plain folks. Just as I had thought they would be. They conversed with the fans in their immediate vicinity, laughed, goofed off, etc. When it was work time, they were focused on the task at hand. We ran through the set list, nailing just about every song on the first take. (We did two takes of "Creep" due to feedback issues.) Between songs, these spontaneous jams broke out, and the guys would join in. Jams on "Surfwax", "Troublemaker", and a couple of others. Rivers seemed to enjoy these the most ... I imagine it's because the spontenaity of the jam is the perfect embodiment of the hootenanny spirit.

After "Say it Ain't So" Rivers thanked us and told us "You're all officially Weezers now. You're all in the band." And Scott reiterated this later. That was pretty cool.

The songs in the set sounded just freaking awesome. Aside from having more guitars than Los Lobos, we had melodicas, glockenspiels, kazoos, accordians, a full horn section ... it was truly a smorgasboard of handheld instruments. When we all fired up at once, like the on chorus of "Pork and Beans", it was a thunderous, rapturous wall of sound. A folk symphony if ever there was one.

For the (orginal) members of Weezer, I'd say, "Hootenanny for the win!" Fantastic idea, and a true pleasure to be a part of. And I can't wait to hear the finished product.
* * *
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Weezer Hoot .. a few pictures and link to another video
Current mood: high
Category: Music
Per the official Weezer site, the Hootenanny should be online by 7/15.
I found a few pictures on the official site, and on the blog of Adam Orth, one of Rivers' chums. There's also video of the horn section practicing the "Beverly Hills" solo, to give you a brief taste of what we sounded like!

Here we are:

Pat's playing guitar and Rivers is playing drums, so this is the song "Automatic."

... which reminds me of a joke Dave Grohl once told. What were the last six words the drummer said? "Let's try one of my songs." Seriously though, "Automatic" is one of my faves from the new album.


* * *

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Whatever Happened to Jennifer Ward?

Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Life

There are some people you meet who you take an instant liking to. People who can increase the quality of life just by being in the same room with you. Jennifer "Skippy" Ward was one such person for Pamela and me.

Today Nissan Live Sets on Yahoo! will present the Weezer Hootenanny that Pamela and I attended a couple of weeks back. And I can't think of Weezer without thinking of Jennifer Ward. She was a HUGE fan of the Weez, back before it was cool.

I know Jennifer had some health issues. The word through the grapevine (via Brian) is that she ran out of options, went to Africa for a last ditch cure, and most likely passed away.

But I don't know what actually happened to her! Maybe the last ditch cure worked, and she's living a wonderful life somewhere. Possibly not. Either way, I would like to know with some certainty "what happened."

At any rate, it's traditional for a band member to put acknowledgements in the liner notes. So here are mine, as a temporary Weezer:

Thanks to Jennifer Ward for turning me on to this scrappy little band all those years ago. Thanks to Kae Ellen for carrying the Weezer torch. And thanks to Pammy for a wonderful Christmas present, and for encouraging me to apply to the Hootenanny.

* * *

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


Current mood: excited
Category: Music

The videos are finally posted! I'm mid-second draft of the play I'm writing, so I haven't watched them all yet. You can find the whole enchilada here. I see they included one of our "intermission jams," the song "Jamie."

For your viewing pleasure, if MySpace allows it (they are so weird about embeds!) Here's "Pork and Beans" by the Weezers, all 254 of us:

* * *

It was such a thrill to be a part of this experience. I was contacted a few months later to rejoin the band for their concert at the Forum. Pam and I had tickets for that show, so I reluctantly said "nah." But I have to tell you, as much as I enjoyed watching, I really wanted to be on stage with them.

12 March 2009


These two photos were taken by Kristy at Camp Burlesque last week. In the top photo, you see Mr. Buddy with Dully, one of The Felties. In the lower pic, we're doing our "Makin' Whoopee" number.

It was a good set, but not without its problems. The first song ("Pennies from Heaven") and the set-up for our through-line gag was performed in the dark. Like an idiot, I bounded onstage in the dark (after being announced) rather than wait for the lights to come up. Next time this happens, I'm holding (or vamping) until we're lit.

Here's another photo from the same show, to give you an idea of what the first eight to ten minutes of our act looked like:

Atmospheric, but death for a comedy team one half of which is physical comedy.

We also performed a set at Pirate Burlesque on Sunday last at the Redwood Bar. (You may want to stop reading now, Mom.)

Some asshole at the bar -- and I've heard it was the owner or the manager -- decided he didn't care for two dudes making funny in the middle of the show. According to one bystander, this douchebag wanted to "see more tits." I'm saying why stop there? He could've looked in the mirror and seen the biggest twat in the place.

So this guy ... let's just call him Cap'n Asshat... cut the microphone mid-song. I assumed (in spite of his nonstop heckling from the back of the house) that it was a mere accident, and the wonderful producers of the show were quick to give me another microphone. This mic was live for a couple of minutes, and then Cap'n Asshat cut it as well. At that point, I "accidentally" dropped his mic to the floor. Oops.

"That's okay," I boomed, flexing my diaphragm and remembering my Lessac training from college. "I'm theatre people. I don't need a fucking microphone." The audience applauded. The ones in our half of the bar, that is. Our friends and burlesque fans in the back half of the bar couldn't hear us over the carousing and bar talk around them.

At the end of the day, the joke's on Cap'n Asshat: We still got paid and our free drinks. We performed our entire set with a manic hysteria perfect for our through-line gag. And everyone present knew it was a deliberate attempt to shut us up, rather than technical difficulties. Cap'n Asshat didn't derail our performance, as much as he wanted to. What he did was disrespect the producers of a fine show, and the paying patrons in his bar.

Does that sound like the kind of place you'd like to patronize?

12 February 2009

I Want One of These:

Pammy and I went to the open house for a new police station in our neighborhood, and they had a line of cop cars dating all the way back to the 1920s. That is where I first encountered the Ford Model A:

So if you're reading this, and you live in a part of the world where old coots keep this sort of thing hidden away in a barn, let me know if you see one for sale!
Okay, Mom ...

I'll update my blog. Sheesh.

Here are a couple of photos Andy Rhodes shared with me:

These are costume photos from Rumpelstiltskin Revised, aka "The Play that Kept Us From Transferring to a Different School" -- no joke! We were looking at transferring to UALR or Arkansas Tech when Al Partridge started telling us about his children's play for what would be my Sophomore year in college (remember, Pam was technically a year ahead of me after taking classes at what used to be called GCCC.)

You may notice that Andy made leg warmers out of that flannel shirt's sleeves! Quite a creative guy, that Andy Rhodes.

04 February 2009

Mssrs. Snapper & Buddy

During the run of Pin-Up Girls, on Saturday nights we ran a burlesque show after the play. The girls of The High Jinks Burlesque performed the numbers onstage that they were "performing" off-stage during the play. A good time was had by all.

I hosted these shindigs, and pressed my good friend Phil Kelly into service as my foil and to pick-up the girls' clothes after they stripped out of them. This quickly evolved, and the comedy duo of Mr. Snapper (that's me) and Mr. Buddy (that's Phil) was born!

(That's "song and dance, comedy and variety acts" in my horrid French.)

Lili Von Schtupp, co-producer of the Monday Night Tease; co-host of the Burlesque Podcast; and the brains, brawn and good-looks behind Burlesque 411 asked Mr. Buddy and me if we would host one of her shows. We said "yes," because you don't tell Lili Von Schtupp "no." It looked something like this:

(Forgive me for not going into a specific description of our act. We're still new at this, and our well of material is not very deep. Don't worry: Once we've come up with a long laundry list of songs and bits, I'll be posting video, audio, etc. I believe that there comes a time when you want to give away free samples of milk, so they know the cow is worth buying. That time comes when you have enough milk on your hands, you ... I'm just going to stop at "enough milk on your hands.")

Chris Beyond, the other host of the Burlesque Podcast, co-producer of the Monday Night Tease, and powerhouse photographer invited Mr. Buddy and Me to open the first night of Burlesqueland, the Disney-themed, three day burlesque extravaganza. That looked something like this:

On the third day of Burlesquland, we went to Disneyland, where Mr. Buddy embarrased both of us:

First, I'm already married. Second, the passage of Proposition 8 would prevent us from getting married anyway. Third, I'm just not that into you, Mr. Buddy.

Good news for you! If you missed The High Jinks Burlesque last year, you can see it in all of its enhanced glory next Monday night! (I say "enhanced" because we're adding two wonderful dancers to our line-up, and one of the gals is doing a second number!)

Ukuleles will be strummed! Prat-falls will be executed! Clothes will come off!