ADAPTABILITY

A couple of years back, I ran across this picture of (left to right) Herbert, Julius, Leonard, Milton and Adolph Marx. Five brothers who look very much alike! Heck, they could be twins. Well, except for the height difference.

And here is a good lesson in adaptability.

Although the palates are very much alike, add in different make-up, wigs, costume pieces, etc. and you have completely different characters that bear little resemblance to each other:

Relating this to puppet design, it is possible to build up many different characters off of the same basic frame. Take a look at the photo gallery at Project Puppet for an example of this in action. Or how about this old favorite:

... which just goes to show that what makes a character a character is the individual artist's touch; the whimsey that an artist brings to the table.

UPDATE: To illustrate my point further, take a gander at this pic that I swiped from www.puppet-planet.com:
Here you can see the Fraggles at different stages in their construction. Same basic frame, a glorious multitude of possibilities!

Irony, Wikipedia Style:

Finally!

I remember hearing nothing but good about My So-Called Life back in the day. Just like Freaks and Geeks, I never caught the show when it originally aired. Unlike Freaks and Geeks, it has taken forever for My So-Called Life to come out on DVD.

Seriously, the show ended in 1995! WTF?

From all that I've read, this show has much in common with Felicity. The narration of the lead character, occasional dips into the supernatural (for instance, both series have episodes that use the tarot as a narrative device,) and of course the complex relationships in which young adults can find themselves embroiled.

My So-Called Life debuts on DVD October 30th, 2007.

I'm posting this a bit late, but I need to give props where props are due.

I think the world of my wife. She's the coolest person I know, and she has certainly had a positive influence on me. Finding her all those years ago was like locating something I didn't know I had lost.

On Saturday the 21st of July, 2007 Pamela made her onstage debut in a burlesque show. The show was the culmination of a full day spent in San Bernardino, California. Pamela enrolled in burlesque workshops during the day (while I read Harry Potter) and performed that evening.

This was also my first time to see live Burlesque performed in the traditional fashion (ala Gypsy Rose Lee, Sally Rand, etc.) We have been to the El Cid to watch the Hollywood Pin-up Girls in their Super Sexy Show, but that's more of an homage to Bob Fosse.

Pamela's new found interest in this field, plus a play I'm working on has resulted in much research. We've watched quite a bit of burlesque on video, from the overly Hollywood-ized (Gypsy) to old stag reels (The "Something Weird" series.)

Nothing compares to the real thing, live. Burlesque is a perfect theatrical artform; really pay attention to a well done burlesque routine, and you'll learn everything you need to know about how to stage a play.

Okay, back to Pamela. I know the girl's got moves. She's been a dancer as long as I've known her, and I've seen her dance. Heck, I danced with her for a ballroom dance infomercial! Well she completely surpassed my expectations when she took the stage (along with her workshop mates) Saturday before last.

She's awesome!

J. J. Abrams is teh bomb!

This is a bit stale now, but there's a great article about all that "Cloverfield" hooplah at SlashFilm.

If you're not following the story (and I can't imagine the fourteen of you who read this blog aren't following the story. Well, maybe my mom isn't.) "Cloverfield" is the codename for the "Untitled J. J. Abrams Project" that is set to hit movie screens on 1/18/07. I prefer calling it "J. J. Abrams' Birthday Present to Andrew." Little is known, but the movie is said to be a $30 million monster pic consisting of footage shot by civilians witnessing an attack on New York. Sort of a bigger budget Blair Witch Project.

You can see the mysterious trailer here or here. There are two "viral" websites up, http://www.1-18-08.com/ and http://www.slusho.jp/. And best of all, here is the Wikipedia entry on this whole mad thing.

So the latest article on SlashFilm reveals that in all likelyhood, J. J. Abrams himself cut the teaser trailer. And this is why Abrams is so damn cool. He's just producing this thing and will probably get a "story by" credit; yet he cares enough about his pet project to cut the trailer himself (on his Mac laptop, no doubt.) He gives it his own touch, and thus sets the tone.

This is something to aspire to.

Pamela convinced me to go to Borders Friday night to pick up my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It was an easy sale. I'd have a few hours of downtime the next day in San Bernardino, California. Trust me, there's nothing much else to do in San Bernardino, California on a Saturday morning. Unless you're Pamela.

I wasn't worried (well not much) about not getting a copy. I figured that Scholastic Press must have made history with the number of books in a first printing; Harry Potter Book Seven has to be the most widely anticipated novel in history! So I left the house at 11:00 pm, already a bit tired from a full day's work.

"My" Borders is in West Hollywood, just down the road a pace from where Pamela studies dance and takes pilates class. I've done quite a bit of writing and re-writing of plays and screenplays at the Seattle's Best coffee shop on the second floor. It feels like home.

Los Angeles is a weird town. I always think of metropolitan cities as "never sleeping." I guess that's just New York, but it still astonishes me how dead Los Angeles is after ten p.m. Borders looked cozy and inviting in the muggy dark. No sign of a line stretching out the front door: fantastic!

Inside the store is a different matter entirely. Gobs of people were milling about, excited yet sleepy-eyed, awaiting the big moment!

I quickly found out where to go first, and soon found myself in line number one: the line to check in. This line extended out the back door and into the parking lot, but only because the check-in table was just inside the door. Borders had an interesting system worked out, and I suppose it was as good a system as any.

The lady at the check-in table asked if I had a copy reserved. I didn't, so she gave me a slip of paper good for one copy of the book, and a little wrist band with the number "270" written upon it. At first I though it may be the lost wristband of Godric Gryffindor, and a likely horcrux for the Dark Master. Alas, it merely established my place in the "first come, first served" order.

I'm making an assumption here, because I don't know for sure. I believe that the folks with reservations had all the low numbers.

Now, armed with my wristband (and a cup of coffee from home) I milled about just a bit, and tried to locate line number two.

The idea was for us to all get into numeric order. It was just after 11:30, and arranging us all (I'd say about four-hundred people. I really wish I was overestimating) took only twenty minutes or so.

My part of the line wound through the magazine section, and I got to read up on house remodeling for half an hour.

Seriously.

Even after they brought the books out (I couldn't get a clear picture) we didn't move for half an hour. I'm not sure why. But we did eventually move, and it wasn't too long before I could see the registers! How exciting!

The line really started to pick up speed. We wound our way through the stacks, and I perused the many different titles around me, in all different genres. I'm a bookstore browser, but I usually have a good idea of what I'm after when I cross the threshold. This time, I had the opportunity to really let it all kind of sink in; the sheer number of titles is staggering!

There are the books I've grown to love, books I should love but haven't gotten around to reading yet, books whose titles I know but never plan on reading, and yet untapped treasures I have never even thought to pick up! Such a vast treasure trove!

Finally, the home stretch. The Borders clerks were becoming hoarse with every cry of "Next customer, please!" I could see the books, orange and green, in pretty little rows. I figured early on that they wouldn't give out wristbands if they didn't have the books to cover them. Imagine the riot that would ensue! Still, there was the fear that somehow they would run out before I got to the counter. Seeing the ample supply of books gave me my second wind! I sprinted to the lady who called out for me:

"Next customer, please!"

And I got this lady. The only one of the Border's crew to bother with anything resembling a costume. I forked over my dough (well ... my debit card,) got my Border's card discount, and at long last put my hands on the last book in the Harry Potter series.

I left the store, elated! It was only 1:00 am, and I was on my way home.

The next morning, Pamela and I drove an hour out to San Bernardino for Stiletto 2.5, a burlesque workshop and showcase. For the four hours or so she was learning how to make pasties and strip, I was submerged in the book. I read on it when we got home that evening, read on it Sunday morning, took a break to make a ridiculous yet relevant episode of Disembodied Animal Head Theatre, and finally finished off the book that evening.

All I can say is, this is the best of the bunch by far. Rowling has set a new bar for this kind of expansive, "big universe" fiction. Yeah, yeah ... I'm sure Tolkien's work is much bigger and badass-er. Rowling's universe is more approachable, and that makes all the difference to me.

She ties everything up in this one. As my friend Garrick Pass put it so well, " She tied up strings I didn't even realize existed until the knot was complete." Simply masterful storytelling.

Most importantly -- and this cannot be emphasized enough-- Jo Rowling got people reading. And what's more, she got people excited about reading.

Bravo!

A recent argument (some may say "flame war") with a former friend got me to thinking about fat suits, and the ethics thereof.

In short, is it okay for a svelte actor to don a fat suit when there are so many out-of-work fat actors out there?

The actor in question is Travolta, who will shortly be shaking his padded ass in Hairspray. To me, it is fairly obvious that Travolta is a bankable asset in a movie musical. Studios deal in bankable assets -- this is Industry 101. When a studio fronts the money for a big production, they want certain "guarantees" that it is a wise investment. No one can promise a big box office take, but one can put certain elements together that will make a big box office take more likely.

It is no stretch of the imagination to say that Travolta -- whose big screen break was Grease, the highest grossing movie musical of all time -- will make more box office for Hairspray than would be made without him. And if the advance reviews hold true, Edna Turnblad may just be the best work he's done to date.

Is it wrong to put an actor in a fat suit? Maybe. Maybe Nathan Lane or Harvey Firestein (who played the character on Broadway) or even the highly controversial (and John Waters-esque) Chuck Knipp should have been cast.

To me, a fat suit is just another tool in Hollywood's storytelling tool shed. It's make-up; prosthetics. No different from putting a "pregnant belly" on a non-pregnant actress or pointy ears on Mr. Spock. No one expected Guy Pierce to really tattoo himself for Memento, and no one seemed terribly upset by Mel Gibson's facial prosthetic in The Man Without a Face or Kevin Spacey's in Pay it Forward.

You see, Hollywood isn't about reality; it's about creating illusions. The question is not "is this real?" The question is "does it sell?" All that matters is effective storytelling. The tools -- all of them, from how you frame the shot to digital effects added in post -- are there to serve the story. By all accounts, Hairspray is a good story. It sells.

(This is not to say that obese thespians are incapable of carrying a story. What springs to mind is the performance of newcomer Darlene Cates in What's Eating Gilbert Grape. A stand-out performance from a newbie. She moved me to tears. But let's see . . . wasn't Leonardo DiCaprio in that movie as well? Yes, that's right. Playing a mentally handicapped boy in an Oscar-nominated performance. Pity they couldn't have cast an out-of-work mentally handicapped actor, huh?)

Oh well. I expect my former friend to decry the evilness of Paul Giamatti any day now.

949!

This is exciting! As you no doubt know, I've been posting stupid little puppet videos to the web for some time now. Content intended to be seen many, many times. Disembodied Animal Head Theatre, episode 3 has been viewed the most (427 times.) It was posted on April 11, 2006.

Well, I posted this video on May 8, 2007 and it has been viewed 949 times:



Yes, it's my lovely wife pole dancing to John Mayer's "I'm Gonna Find Another You." Only 51 views away from breaking out of three figures! Wow!

(I think it's fairly obvious why this video would be more popular than my talking rubber chicken!)

John Travolta as Edna Turnblad:


There is something so very right about this.

I absolutely love the original film, and what music I've heard from the musical is hysterical ("Momma I'm a Big Girl Now" for instance.) I've been a fan of Travolta's since about age four (his "sweathog" days. The days of "Greased Lightning" and Saturday Night Fever.)

And now, in a mere week and a half, Travolta returns to the big screen in a movie musical! Geez ... it's been almost thirty years since Grease!

The advance reviews on "Ain't it Cool News" have been very positive, And "Ain't it Cool" isn't known for pulling punches. A friend who attended a test screening had an absolute blast. And of course the entire ensemble is an awesome assortment of talent, with Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Queen Latifah ... the list goes on and on. I hear that John Waters himself makes an appearance (as the town flasher, naturally.)

Maybe I'm behind the times on this one. I don't know ...

Wasting some time on YouTube today, I ran across this video:



Hysterical! So I checked out the website, and found a number of other hysterical videos.

What I like about "How It Should Have Ended" is threefold: 1) The website is very slick and professional, 2) The animation is very well-done and easy to view, and 3) The videos are very thoughtfully scripted and rely on actual satire and parody for laughs.

I recommend the Blair Witch, Se7en, and It's a Wonderful Life videos.

Enjoy!

Vintage Jim Henson on YouTube:

Jim Henson is best known for his wacky, far-out puppetry. Some have falsely asserted that Jim was little more than an over grown hippie. What few people realize is just how shrewd a business man he was. His professionalism and serious-mindedness is perhaps his best kept secret:



(I really like the new use the puppeteers found for their puppets at about 1:54. Yes, those are Schlitz cans.)

It is no wonder that Jim, or "Mr. Henson" as he preferred, was so successful in the commercial field. Although the end product most Americans saw on their television sets was full of vim and vigor (not to mention bright colors and explosions), Mr. Henson took great care in pitching his small group of well=groomed puppeteers to prospective employers. If you didn't know better, you might think that the following video was made by a studious engineer of farm tractors and combines, rather than a man who learned how to stitch from his grandmother:



(The "number of hilarious acts" starting at 2:05 is particularly conservative and business-like.)

Videos courtesy of Batman1971.

Resistance. Is. Futile.

Is it just me, or is Apple slowly but surely becoming the "machine" they poked fun at in 1984?

Maybe it's the 2001: A Space Odyssey-esque monolithic iPhones.

But it's probably. The. Abrupt. Periods.

"Today." comes off as a blunt command. "DO IT NOW!" Compare to another Apple ad from a decade ago:

The computer coyly turned away from the camera, as if embarrassed to have its picture taken. The friendly Apple font. The neutral white background. And "Think Different" in the bottom right hand corner, a subtle reminder of one of the most inspiring ad campaigns in human history (really, the guys who did "Think Different" should be handed the Olympics.)

The iMac ad is light and fun, like a Rebel Alliance kegger.

And as for the iPhone, it looks cold and menacing, like a certain emperor's chamber.

After all, at&t has the exclusive license for five (I've also heard ten) years. And we all know about at&t, now don't we?

DAVE GROHL
IS
ROCK & ROLL

UPDATED 6/25/07!

First of all, let me just say that it was a treat to see The Police in concert. I'm so blown away by the live experience. I've been a fan most of my life, and dreamed of the day they'd get back together and do another tour. For me, it doesn't get any better than standing with 20,000 screaming fans, singing along with "So Lonely." Stewart Copeland is a god, plain and simple. When he left his kit to bang around of various and sundry chimes, bells and cymbals for "Wrapped Around Your Finger," I was so stunned by the beauty of it I didn't realize what song they were playing until the chorus hit. Andy Summers has an effortlessness about his guitar work that belies the complexity of what he's playing. And Sting . . . I was reminded that Sting is a rock star and a damn fine musician. I had forgotten that over the course of his past few albums.

Okay, that's out of the way. As much as I loved The Police, I must admit that Foo Fighters spoke to me more.

It hit me at the right time, seeing the Foo Fighters in concert. As Pamela mentioned in her blog, we've been watching the documentary about the Little Rock punk scene, Towncraft. This movie has brought back such wonderful memories and has reignited my love for that music, the folk music of my generation; the sweaty balls, ragged throat, whiplash music that I thrashed to at Kimmery Park.

So with my melon a' buzz and my spirits lifted, Pamela and I made the trip to Dodgers Stadium, and the most amazing thing I've seen onstage in a long time.

If you've read Pam's blog, you know what happened. The stage was set up deep center field. The diamond was cordoned off, but the rest of the field was filled with seats. Our seats were a cut above nosebleed, in the mezzanine area.

Halfway through "Stacked Actors" as the band is grooving, and you just know someone is about to cut loose with a bitchin' solo, Dave Grohl stepped to the edge of the stage, jumped off, leaped a barrier, and rushed into the crowd.

This is the sort of thing Jim Morrison did. It's not the sort of thing that happens now-a-days! He made his way down the aisle, and it became aparrent what his planned destination was: home plate. He made it to the tempory fence surrounding the infield, and kicked at it ... but alas, it wasn't to be. A handful of security guards got to him before he could cross the fence.

So, cheered on by the surprised and elated crowd, Grohl ran around to the speaker trusses near third base, climbed up on some empty travel cases and a porta potty, and played his solo. It wasn't home plate, but at that point, it didn't have to be!

So here it is: Grohl is one of, if not the greatest rock drummer alive. He writes tight music that demands your respect ... shit, even his ballads have testosterone to spare. The man forms metal bands in his spare time, and played Satan for Tenacious D. And for one bright, shining moment he gave convention (and common sense) the finger, and joined us in the house. So let's just say it, and let it be said henceforth throughout the land: Dave Grohl IS Rock and Roll!

UPDATE:



buy unique gifts at Zazzle

Here's an update on a few puppet projects I've been apart of/had brewing since the beginning of the year:

I'm going to start with Los Titeres TV, the web channel launched by the extraordinary Felix Pire! Back in April I spent half a day with Mr. Pire shooting material for upcoming webisodes. One of those webisodes, a episode of "Amor de Conchita y Ronaldo" is live! It's episode 1, entitled "You Never Listen." Note: not safe for work, and not for the kiddies! Very funny stuff. Towards the end Felix starts riffing on that infamous video of Lily Tomlin cussing out Dustin Hoffman. Funny stuff!

Next up is something that is kid friendly, a certain marionette project I recently worked on. (I don't want to put the title here, because I don't want Google to bring up this page! The target audience is little kids. Imagine if "Joe Five-year-old" accidentally clicked on Conchita y Ronaldo!) In addition to video of our live performance at B.B. Kings, there is a music video that we shot a couple of weeks back. I performed a few of the marionettes in the video -- I'd have a hard time telling you which ones -- but I know for a fact that whenever you see the puppet pictured to the left, I'm pulling the strings!

One of the exciting things about these two projects is that together with Uncle Grizly and Disembodied Animal Head Theatre, I have the making of a pretty good puppetry reel! Boo-Yah! My pal Russ put up his reel recently, and it has truly inspired me.

Also in the news, I finished up the Pepper puppet I blogged about some time ago! Okay, he still needs arm rods. And in all honesty, I never could've made this without the patient help of my lovely wife. I chose this really soft, luscious furry fleece for Pepper. Honestly, it feels like chenille! Unfortunately, it's a bitch to machine sew. Pamela instructed me to buy some interfacing, and iron it to the "back" of the fabric. Good idea! Only, I bought some kind of crazy appliqué "new sew" adhesive backing. Oops!

Fortunately for me, Pamela just happened to have some lightweight white broadcloth laying around, and so I glued the doodly furry fabric to the white broadcloth. Whew! I tried to sew the pieces together, but I suck at machine sewing. So Pamela tagged me out, and did the heavy lifting. At it so happens, I'm a good hand-stitcher, so I finished the sucker off. The eyes are ping-pong ball halves, attached in the super-secret Russ Walko fashionm with adhesive-back felt eyes. The nose is Sculpey. The spots and ears are brown polar fleece whip-stitched into place.

Pepper is built from the Glorified Sock Puppet pattern from Project Puppet. Friends, I cannot praise the good people at Project Puppet enough. Their patterns are affordable, easy to follow, and infinitely customizable. If you want to build a puppet and don't know where to start, start with Project Puppet.

I had some new headshots taken, some of them with Pepper. (My new profile pic is one such.) Pamela had this idea, and I think it is quite sound, that it would be helpful to have a headshot as a puppeteer. Why? Because there are more and more projects casting puppeteers, and your average casting director works with headshots.

For instance, NowCasting.com lists puppet gigs with some frequency. Guess what? No headshot, no submission. Also, I am selling myself as a puppeteer, not just my right hand. Casting Directors work with Andrew Moore, not Andrew Moore's right hand. They need to know me, what I look like.

That's probably a good summation for now. I'm working on some other things, including an interesting variation on that "Mimey and Clownie Show" idea I mentioned back in January -- and of course more episodes of DAHTv-- but that will hold for another time!

Where Were You in '92?

Dude!



Add this movie to my wishlist.

Now, if only someone would do the same for the Hot Springs scene ...

(more to come.)

Vietnamese Water Puppets

I could've sworn I first heard about this form of puppetry from Andrew at www.puppetvision.blogspot.com, but I can't seem to find the post. I was incredulous, but intrigued. The puppeteers stand behind a screen, and perform the puppets with rods that extend under the screen, under water. I did a Google search back then (a couple years ago? Maybe three?) and didn't turn up much data.

Today on YouTube I find this:



Very beautiful. I'm surprised at how articulate the puppets are!

Is it possible that the one thing that producers value the most in writers is the ability to finish a screenplay?

Read this good news from a guy named Joel.

It's probably refreshing for a producer to see that a writer can string enough words together to fashion a full-length script; a script that hits all the important beats of the Syd Field model/hero's journey/etc.; a story with a beginning, middle, and end. More important than sheer talent or ability to spin b.s. is the ability to push through to a "done."

Huh.

(Found out about Joel through Alex Epstein. If you have an interest in writing, he has a couple of swell books on the subject.)

Seth Godin: He's No Dip!

I'm currently reading Mr. Godin's new book, so this isn't a proper book review.

Instead, it is a preemptive recommendation. At the half-way point, I feel confident to say "buy this book!"

If you're an artist (and I believe that most if not all of the people who read this blog are [or have been] artists) you need to read this book. Here's an excerpt:

The Dip is the long slog between starting and mastery. A long slog that's actually a shortcut, because it gets you where you want to go faster than any other path.
The Dip is the combination of bureaucracy and busywork you must deal with in order to get certified in scuba diving.
The Dip is the difference betwen the easy "beginner" technique and the more useful "expert" approach in skiing or fashion design.
The Dip is the long stretch between beginner's luck and real accomplishment.
The Dip is the set of artificial screens set up to keep people like you out.

As inspirational and "can-do" as his other books, The Dip feels like a continuation of Purple Cow (another book you must read.) The two books go hand in hand: The Dip helps you evaluate a career path (or activity) to determine if you should fish or cut bait. The Purple Cow encourages you to pick a remarkable path. Both books contain useful suggestions and real-world examples of the principles in play.

Ah hell. This turned into a book review.

Artists I Love

Richard Elfman is a freaking genius. He elevated cheap aesthetic to new heights in Forbidden Zone. Buy the DVD and watch this film. It's crazy fun, like those dreams you had as a child, falling asleep on the couch with Bugs Bunny on television and a tummy full of sugary cereal.



Well, at least I had those dreams.

Danny Elfman is a freaking genius as well:

You can keep Alvarado,
Santa Monica,
even Beverly Drive.
Vine may be fine,
but for mine
I want to feel ... alive

and settle down in my

La Brea....
Tar Pits....

Where nobody's dreams come true.

The Girl That I Love

I meant to blog this last year, but I got busy.

One of the things I like most about my wife is the care and attention she puts into whatever it is she's doing. She isn't "halfway" about anything. Well, not much anyway.

When I first met her, she had this huge case full of make-up. We were in a production of The Crucible, and Pamela had this incredible array of theatrical and personal make-up. She was the first girl I had ever met who applied her lip color with a brush. I thought that was very cool.

Some people think it's weird or "special" that I like to go shopping with her. The picture you see here was taken on a trip to the MAC store in Hollywood. The truth is, I love observing her doing her thing. The girl with the fuzzy green scarf who is taking great care to find the exact right lip color, and the exact right kind of brush with which to apply it (who attacks the process like a scientist attacking a virus in a laboratory) fascinates me.

I find her fascinating. And I think that is one of the "secrets" of our relationship.

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

Ain't it Cool has three minutes and twenty-nine seconds of John Rambo. It's only going to be up for two days, so hurry!

WARNING! This clip is devastatingly violent. If you're accustomed to "first person shooter" games or a fan of zombie flicks, it should be no big deal. This feels like Stallone is getting into a dickey waving contest with Mel Gibson over who can make the most graphically violent movie. Wow.

Stallone is a man. He just recently wrapped shooting, and whipped together this trailer lickety-split to share with the film geeks at Ain't it Cool. He "wanted to see what you Talkbackers thought about" it. This guy really cares about the fans, or at least knows how to fake it better than any other "big name" in Hollywood. Too cool.

From Hugh MacLeod:



(I hope it's true!)

Short Film Appreciation Series
(Here are a few short films that I enjoy, and have rediscovered on YouTube.)

Robert Rodriguez is an incredible storyteller. He views the world with a childlike sensibility, seeing magic where jaded grown-ups see practical concerns.

There is a term that perfectly describes what Rodriguez does: Magic Realism. His (best) flicks tend to be set in the gritty, smelly everyday world. It just so happen that this "real" world is inhabited by vampires, unruly kids who discover dead prostitutes in hotel rooms, and mariachis who carry arsenals around in their guitar cases.

Bedhead gave viewers in 1990 a taste of what was to come.

SPIDERMAN 3

Blogger ate my original review on this, and it's probably just as well. Rather than dwell on the details (and there are many, many details) I think I'll just jump to the heart of the matter.

I didn't like Spiderman 3. I thought that it was very perfunctory and "paint-by-numbers." Whereas that type of filmmaking would otherwise produce a mediocre movie, with Spiderman 3 it's as if Sam Raimi took three separate paint-by-numbers sets and mixed them all together. The narrative turns into (to quote Bilbo Baggins out of context) not enough butter spread over too much bread. For instance, Thomas Haden Church got "Tommy-Lee-Jonesed." (Remember Batman Forever?) We never got the payoff with his daughter. The "Sandman killed your Uncle" felt tacked on for cheap emotional effect rather than storytelling necessity. About the only good thing about the character was the actor playing it.

The other thing about this film -- and this is huge -- are the wild deviations from conventions set up in the comic book. Before you start yelling "geek" please allow me the opportunity to point out that any adaptation, of a novel, tv show, etc., inevitably fails to the extent it deviates from the source material -- at least in spirit. Raimi got Spiderman right the first two times. In this flick, he missed the boat almost entirely (Peter Parker is an accomlished piano player, Peter Parker strikes Mary Jane, Mary Jane has a "moment of weakness" with Harry Osborne, Harry's big revenge plan involves forcing Mary Jane to break Peter's heart, etc. etc.)

That's the short of it. I could go on and on about the illogical choices and glaring plotholes, but folks brighter than I have covered those bases. (Check out Aint it Cool News for more balanced reviews, or my pal Pete if you want to laugh your ass off at the most profane review I've ever read. NSFW.)

I will pick on one detail, perhaps the most important detail. In fact, I'm going to turn this blog post over to my wife, who puts this particular piece of criticism in the most eloquent of terms. Here's Pamela:

Roughly twenty minutes into the film, Mary Jane tells Peter she wants to spend the rest of her life with him. Peter goes to tell Aunt May, who gives him her engagement ring for a proposal. Peter, walking on air because he knows he's going to propose, gets sideswiped by Green Goblin and goes through great efforts to keep from losing the ring. In a scene with Bruce Campbell, they again ding in how important this ring is because it represents how much Peter is committed to MJ. We then have the lazzi of the ring being delivered in champagne when MJ breaks up with Peter. This ring sounds pretty damn important, right? Yeah, at the end of the film (after Evil Peter does his jazz dance of revenge) Peter hugs MJ to make up the damage. Does he propose after all of this importance has been put on the engagement ring? NO. Essentially, they get us all lubed up that Peter and MJ will become engaged and leave us with our dick in our hands at the end of the film.

There you have it folks. I'd say, wait for this stinker to come out on DVD, if you really must see it.

(Harumph. Hollywood does stuff like this, breaks opening weekend box office records, and then wonders why box office receipts continue to decline in the following years. Maybe stop jerking us around! Stop hyping films that don't deliver! 'Nuff said!)

Drew Does Strings (Continued)

I have a few more pictures from my big marionette adventure last Saturday.

I haven't been to Universal City Walk in quite some time. I couldn't say when was the last time! I love theme parks and themed environments, so it was a blast just walking around.


I got there early so I could enjoy a cup of joe and have plenty of time to arrive at the venue. Whenever I do a gig like this, I like to give myself plenty of time to arrive. I tend not to bring a book, as reading for me is a very introverting activity, and I need to be at my extroverted best when performing.

Universal City Walk was just waking up. Pretty much the only people walking around were tourists on their way to the theme park.

After my coffee and rice crispy treat (the breakfast of champions!) I wandered over to the venue. B. B. King's Blues Club! What a hip place to do a puppet show for kids!

I was the first one to arrive. Yeah, yeah. I'm a dork.





I figured there would be a Lucille on display, and I was right! B. B. King seems to give these things away like Pez, so it's not like it's the Lucille. I still felt a sense of awe, looking over an instrument that B. B. King brought to life.

Respect.







The crowd is all lined up! Soon the doors will open and the show will go on!

Drew Does Strings

This is unknown territory for me. I've had an interest in marionettes as long as I've been interested in puppetry, but I've been a bit scared of the art form. So many strings!

Well, when I find myself scared of something, I find it best to just jump right in! I've put myself out there for marionette work over the past six months or so. This past week, I booked a marionette gig!

I had the pleasure of working with The TeenieTones today in their public debut at B.B. King's Blues Club at Universal City Walk. I had an absolute blast!

Marionettes are difficult, but the principles are the same with rod puppets or hand puppets. It's all about the little details that make the figure "come alive."

GRINDHOUSE

I grew up in the Nazarene Church, a fairly strict protestant denomination that absolutely forbid such sinful things as rock music and going to the movies. When other kids were beside themselves with joy over seeing The Empire Strikes Back on the big screen, I was reading the novelization (at age five) and collecting all of the Topps collector cards. At the age of nine, I had been to the movies exactly twice (to the best of my recollection): In 1980 mom took us kids to see Popeye, and in 1981 we saw The Legend of the Lone Ranger.

All that changed in 1984. While my dad was sorting his life out (one of many times,) Mom threw in the towel and took me and and my sister to the movies. The movie that kicked off our mad romp into "sin" was the hellacious Star Trek: The Search for Spock. We found a cheap-o "dollar" theatre in Longview or Tyler, Texas. Maybe it was Shreveport, Louisiana. We moved around so much, sometimes it all blurs together.

Anyway, we saw a lot of crap movies for cheap. Once, Mom took us the the movies on a school night, thus inaugurating my all-time favorite dinner: nachos and popcorn.

When I first caught wind of the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino joint project Grindhouse, it was a no-brainer. I can't say that I had the same experience that the filmmakers had growing up. I wish I had! So I don't speak fluent "exploitation" the way they do, but I love a good "popcorn" flick. With Grindhouse, we've got two.

Pamela and I trundled down to The Vista in Los Feliz, a gorgeous one-screener decked out like an Egyptian tomb. The seats were damn uncomfortable, but the popcorn had real butter!

PLANET TERROR is Rodriguez's film, a more-or-less zombie flick with the sort of non-stop cartoony violence he does best. The make-up effects are absolutely disgusting. We're talking pustules and tumors and blood -- lots and lots of blood. Rodriguez carries the "grindhouse" affectation further than Tarantino, playing with scratched film, jump-cuts, missing reels and even a frame burnout as narrative tools. What he does is take the cliches of crap-cinema, and churn out a great flick couched in a crap cinematic dialect.

DEATH PROOF is Tarantino's offering. He doesn't use the "grindhouse" affectation as much as Rodriguez, but when he does it's pretty damn funny. The best thing about this flick is Zoe Bell, hands down. She's an incredible stunt performer and, as it turns out, one hell of an actress. Tarantino kicks off the big car chase with Zoe Bell clinging to the hood of a 1970 Dodge Challenger, blasting full speed down a country highway. No CGI, just old fashioned car stunts.

(I haven't even commented on the faux trailers that accompany the two features. Hrm. Probably best not to. Except for this one thing: Eli Roth is one sick, twisted guy.)

I felt like a little kid again, clutching my popcorn and finding myself engrossed in the giant screen before me. And you know what? That's the best way to go to the movies.

UPDATE: My dad did try to compensate for the rigors of Nazarene life. He would, on occasion, rent a projector and screen "Christian" movies for the congregation (or just the youth group, depending on the selection). I recall seeing an "End Times" grindhouse flick at the tender age of four or five, the 1972 classic A Thief in the Night.

We lived next to railroad tracks back then, and every time a train would whistle it's way past in the dead of night, I'd wake up with cold sweats, worried that Gabriel had blown his horn and called my family home. I've since become a preterist, so I don't sweat the rapture.

So I guess I did have a grindhouse experience (of sorts) as a kid. Personally, I think I would've better enjoyed Death Race 2000 or Shaft.

I enjoy consuming a wide variety of viewpoints. I'm like Pac-Man, only with memes instead of pellets.

Anywho, one guy I check in on every now and then is Tim Boucher. He's an eclectic thinker and an honest spiritual seeker. He traverses vast tracts of thought like a Titan strolls across continents. He also has Google AdSense. The combination of interesting conceptual juxtapositions and Google AdSense leads to a webpage that sometimes looks like this:


Slash as Jesus? I think Tim would be proud!

Ever one to shove as many irons in the fire and/or oars in the water as possible, I have taken it upon myself to pursue writing with a bit more vigor. To that end, I am writing a couple of spec scripts to shop around in an attempt to snag myself representation and/or a freelance writing job or two.

I'm also reading Alex Epstein's wonderful Crafty TV Writing. I highly recommend it as well as Mr. Epstein's insightful blog.

So hey: fan wikis kick ass. Seriously. They're like show bibles only better, benefiting from 20/20 hindsight.

Here area few:

Lostpedia
The Office Wiki
Fireflywiki
Heroeswiki

Ah hell, just google "TV Series Wiki." What a great tool!

I would not be surprised if this format eventually replaced the traditional series bible.

DAHT Lessons

For episode one of the new season, I decided to do something very different from season one: I am spending more time and effort on the actual disembodied animal head portions of the show. The truth is that for the first season, I was much more enamored of Tex than I was of the "ensemble." Looking back at the original episodes, I believe this is clear as day.

Well, Tex is a pain in the ass. The rubber is starting to degrade (he is at least four years old, and not made of very high quality rubber to begin with) and the mouth mechanism is unreliable. I need to rebuild him from scratch, but I have yet to find a suitable rubber chicken replacement. (I can't believe that I've become a rubber chicken connoisseur. For some reason, my wife is not surprised.)

I think that focusing on the actual reason for the show is a step in the right direction.

Another lesson: I need to sort out my sound recording issues. Seriously. I had to ADR the "ensemble" bits because my external mic was on the fritz. I wasn't wearing my headphones (I couldn't find them!) so I didn't know the sound was f-ed up until I captured the video. I then used the on-camera mic for Tex's bits, and the sound is just atrocious.

Next, I learned that I need to compose a shot list before doing this thing. I storyboarded this episode, but somehow missed the fact that Cesare Piazza needed to walk from camera right to camera left without a log. Whoops! So I had to do a quick pick-up. (You can tell. The lighting doesn't match!)

Finally, we shot the Lost-esque "The Tempest" title card all wrong. By "we" I mean Pamela and I. She manned the camera (on the tripod) and the manual focus while I tilted and moved the card. It would have been far easier to place the card on a flat surface, light it, and move the camera. This is the most frustrating mistake for me, because I went to the Robert Rodriguez ten-minute film school (i.e. watched the special features on his DVDs) and he covered this very thing on the Spy Kids 2 disc.

So there are my lessons learned.

I want to add an additional note regarding what I call "Thrift Store Aesthetic." Obviously I'm shooting these things with no budget whatsoever. I'm actually trying to play that to my advantage. I could have done the Lost-esque "The Tempest" title card with slick, 3D graphics. It just seemed wrong. Sure, DAHT looks like crap. But I think that's part of the appeal.


Next up for DAHT: Twelfth Night, or What You Will!

Been a Long Time Since I Rock and Rolled ...

Season Two of Disembodied Animal Head Theatre has begun. Check it out.

(Yes, I have been watching too much "Lost.")

The final episode of "season one." Also the longest episode. I got pretty good at improvising (nonlinearly) both ends of a conversation!

Tex does Shylock. Need I say more?

This episode is very uneven, but I learned a whole lot doing it.

PEPPER REBORN

I've had the sad looking stuffed dog to the left since I was four. Maybe even earlier than that.

I've been doing his voice for as long.

I remember naming him Pepper. It was a cold, dark night in the family car, Mom and Dad in the front seat, me in the back with my new toy. The way I recall it, Pepper was a gift from my grandmother. I struggled to read his little tag, to see what his name was. In retrospect, it was probably something like "Patchy," but lit by random streetlights it looked like "Pepper" to me.

Pepper was my 'best friend' in the way that only a stuffed toy can be. We went everywhere together. At age five, I had a habit of falling asleep to music playing on an old 8-track player. "Best of the Beach Boys" and Elvis and Herb Albert's "Rise". That music would serve as my soundtrack as I fell asleep clutching Pepper close, dreaming about the two of us flying around in a biplane and sword fighting with crab monsters.

When Pamela and I were first engaged, and a staph infection sent her to the hospital in Little Rock, I brought her Pepper on my first trip to see her. (This is the only time I've ever given Pepper to another person.)

Our beloved dalmatian Holly got a hold of Pepper once, and chewed one of his ears off. Felicity yanked out his stuffing and bit off his eyes. So naturally, he is not looking so hot these days.

Well, I'm doing a duet with fellow Write Act Rep company member Jenn Scuderi for our upcoming 'Vaudeville' fund raiser, and I need a puppet. I was struggling to come up with an idea when it hit me. I'm going to resurrect my old friend Pepper. You can see the sketch in the pitcure: A simple puppet that matches the original coloring and captures the spirit of who Pepper is. I'm even planning on laundering my old chum and recycling him into the very fabric of the 'new' Pepper!

Disembodied Animal Head Theatre really went off the rails with this episode. But this is one of the very few times you'll ever see a puppet manipulated by Pamela! She's behind Mario de Netta's strings.

Pamela is not really "into" puppets like I am. She's a huge Muppets fan, and she enjoys tagging along to puppety things I occasionally drag her to. But she's not a puppeteer -- she's an actress who pretends to be a puppeteer every now and then.

And you know what? I'm okay with that! In fact, I am very happy that she has her own interests and pursuits.

PROJECT CORNER

Note:  If you enjoy this project, you might also enjoy my Tennis Ball Rod Puppet Project.  A classroom of kids in Belgium sure did!

Not a day goes by that I am not approached by some stranger and asked "hey, how do you make a pair of those 'practice eyes' that I've heard so much about?" It doesn't matter if I am in the grocery store, at my favorite coffee shop, or in a public restroom. The question rings in my ears like a ubiquitous alarm clock, plaguing my waking hours and haunting my dreams.

In the interest of showing that I know how to do stuff, I present ...

ANDREW'S GUIDE TO MAKING THOSE 'PRACTICE EYES' YOU'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT!

[NOTE: Kids, do not try this at home. This project involves deadly, sharp objects and you will poke your eye out and/or cut off something important. Seriously.]

MATERIALS

Ping pong balls
Adhesive back felt pads (round)
1/4 inch stretch elastic
Needle and thread




STEP ONE

Carefully cut two parallel lines approximately 1/2 inch long, and spaced approximately 1/4 of an inch from each other. Do this to two ping pong balls.

(I used the printing on my ping pong balls as a guide.)






STEP TWO

Being careful not to crack open your incisions any further, cram one end of the 1/4 inch elastic into one cut and out the other.

Do the same with the second ping pong ball.




STEP THREE

Measure the elastic around your middle finger, ensuring a snug fit. Cut off the excess elastic, and sew the ends together.






STEP FOUR

Carefully place adhesive back felts on the ping pong balls to simulate pupils. As you do, ponder the words of great and powerful Jim Henson, who once said that the key to a character lay in the placement of its eyes.

Don't screw this up.


VOILA!

You're done!

(Be sure to bring your creation with you on dates. You'll score for sure!)




The thing you just made is the exact same thing you'll use when and if you ever audition for a puppetry gig through Disney (unless something has changed with their process.) It's good for practicing eye focus, movement and lip sync, and it costs a heck of a lot less than a "real" puppet.

Next Time on "Project Corner": How to improvise a bandage when you slip and cut yourself with an Xacto knife!

UPDATE:  Muppet Central forum user Rick has a few refinements to the above tutorial.  I would quote them verbatim here, but I haven't been able to secure Rick's permission to do so (if you are Rick or know him, ask him to drop me a line, would you?)  You can read his forum post here.  Thanks, Rick!

So far I'm really liking Revver. So much better than YouTube.

For starters, I'm not competing with pirated clips of popular shows. Secondly, I've already earned a (very) small amount of money.

I have to give mad props to Felix Pire of Los Titieres for encouraging me to go with Revver. (I did a day of work for Mr. Pire on Saturday. When the stuff I did is put online, I'll be sure to announce it here!)

Yeah, that's right. "Disembodied Animal Head Theatre" is on Revver now!

So maybe I'll make a little moolah on this. Emphasis on the "little."

My computing issues have been handled for the moment, and I will be able to return to regular blogging. Regular for me, which is once or twice a week.

I am working on a few projects, and I can't wait to share!

Well, I've been a little busy.

Here's a brief run-down of what I've got going:

I'm finishing up a treatment for a couple of producers. It's a horror film set in Wisconsin, and I'm having an absolute blast devising horrible ways to kill people off. MWA HA HA! (On a side note, the school psychologist who "examined" me when I was six years-old told my parents that I would someday be either of great benefit or great detriment to society. Guess which direction I'm leaning to with this project! MWA HA HA!)

I am directing a main stage show at my theatre company, Write Act Rep. The play is Juana by renaissance man Paul Casey, the story of "Juana la Loca" the mad queen who ruled half the world. Paul has dedicated a significant portion of his life to telling Juana's story. Was she a schizophrenic who went into violent psychotic episodes, or the victim of a patriarchal conspiracy set on snatching away her power? It's an incredible piece, and I feel very fortunate to have been trusted with such an epic story.

Juana will feature a cast of live actors and 25+ puppets (think "Julie Taymor" with a large dose of "Bread and Puppet Theatre,") multi-media elements, and one crazed director who makes a habit of biting off more than he can comfortably chew. I'm working on a director's analysis at this point, and hope to have a first design meeting in a couple of weeks.

Torrid Affaire will be read at Write Act on the 27th of this month. I'm hoping it can be rushed into production late this summer. It's a simple play, easily mountable given a month of rehearsal time.

In addition to all of the above, I am trying to work on some other writing projects (have to keep putting the future there!) I've been tapped for a couple of readings, and I'm seeking employment alternatives. Preferably industry related because, hey, I didn't move to Los Angeles to become an insurance salesman. (So if anyone of the fourteen people who read this have any juicy leads, call me!)

So there's the summary of what's what at present. I hope it explains why I haven't blogged in a month, and why I've postponed any forward motion on Disembodied Animal Head Theatre and Up To Bat until sometime in April.

("The Felties" is dead in the water at present. To be honest, I'm tempted to put the whole damn thing (rights, puppets, etc.) on eBay. I just don't think anyone would bid on it!)